7 guidelines for Millennials to find love in Indian Arranged Marriages
The definition of an ‘Arranged Marriage’ for the millennial has as undergone a colossal change in India vis-à-vis the earlier generations. The parents seek and respect their children’s preferences. Similarly, youngsters discuss and accommodate their parents’ wedding predilections. But the task of finding your better half amongst the millions still remains as daunting a task as ever. Mr. Saurabh Goswami, Founder, and Director, Ultra Rich Match shares a few tips, or rather guidelines, while searching for love on arranged marriage online sites.
1. Be Clear about your Requirements/ Criteria: If you are actually on the website to seriously look for a life partner, then make sure you are clear about your basic requirements. These criteria could include height, location, caste, horoscope or any other priority. Random searches, though a popular way to make online friends, will not lead you anywhere in your marriage sojourn.
2. DO NOT judge a book by its cover, nor a profile by its display picture (DP): Take time to read the complete profile, and more importantly, stick to your basic criteria. Keep in mind that profile might have been made by a parent or a relative; this information is usually displayed in the profile itself. In such cases make sure to keep some leeway before becoming too biased. Conversely, DO NOT get over-impressed by any profile. Not all sites verify the details of their clients.
3. Take the plunge: If you like a profile, don’t hesitate to contact them, and send one or two reminders. Don’t be pushy, but make sure your interest is not lost on the list. Chatting is not necessarily a good course in this case. Talking directly will show your seriousness. Once you see things getting serious, suggest meeting with or without family as per your comfort. Again, this does not imply that you are not free to meet or date the other person till you are surer; but this also does not mean that you start going out casually. Always acknowledge that your ultimate purpose is getting married, not making more friends.
4. Do not ask personal questions too soon: In the first few conversations, stick to generic topics, and make sure both of you are comfortable before taking the talks to the next level.
5. Girls, asking about a boy’s package is ok, but listing out your shopping bucket list for him to fulfill is not acceptable. Similarly, Guys are not supposed to go around asking or expecting the dowry amount from your prospective in-laws. You both are the ones who are going to make your own home. Have faith in your own and your spouse’s abilities rather than getting stuck on monetary aspects.
6. Respect the other person’s choices, be it career-wise or family-wise. The girl may want to work after marriage, the boy may want his parents to move in with him after marriage, it’s an individual’s decision. If they do not comply with your own goals, and if neither is ready to compromise, it’s best that you move on gracefully.
7. Don’t judge any person by their past, in fact, it’s better not to ask about their exes unless they themselves volunteer the information. Even afterward, do not swell into it. However, don’t be so obtuse as to miss the serious indications that your prospective life partner is still into their ex. In case of any confusion, ask directly about the things bothering you. If you are satisfied, good; else it’s much better to move on rather than spoiling two families’ futures.